Comment on Youtube video:
Lynn, what about having beliefs about the world/life that are supported by facts but are still upsetting? I’ve found it very difficult to move past notions like “life is unfair” because no matter how much inquiring I can possibly do, there are always going to be real life examples that support my view that life is not fair. I don’t want to hold on to this belief because it causes me pain but I do not know how to work with it since it seems like it’s just part of reality, part of the “objective world” out there.

Lynn: That’s a sticky one for me too. You are correct – there always will be real life examples, evidence that life is unfair. There is much suffering in the “objective world”.

I work with that two ways.First is the belief that life should be fair. I worked in an AIDS organization in the late eighties and early nineties and ran up hard against the idea many of us hold that the “right” thing is to have a long healthy happy life and die in our sleep when we’re 90. Then a young man in his twenties gets a virus and dies within a few years. Clearly that isn’t fair. He has lost those years. His life that he “should have had”.

Life is the way it is. When we accept that, we have less suffering. There were a few people with AIDS and a few people in their families who somehow found their way to more acceptance and less resistance. They leaned in, experienced the pain and loss and also the growth, meaning and connection. Inquiry into “life should be fair” “my life should be …” “I need this person to be …” can be helpful in seeing through these deeply held beliefs. They often reveal core deficiency stories or land on unhealed trauma.

The second is to work with the unhealed trauma at the root of being triggered. Trauma from events that were overwhelming at the time is stored in our bodies as energy. I now know my body, my energy and I recognize even painful and intense energy as simply a response to my experience. It is not here to hurt me. It welcomes being seen and attended to. As we do this, we integrate and heal our painful experiences.

Our November workshop is on Thought. Free 30 minute workshop November 13th noon Eastern (New York) and 5PM UK

Life Isn’t Fair
Tagged on: